Reserved, Revered or just Downright Confused

Tesco has a wine from South America on its shelves right now. It's not just any old wine. It's a 'Reserve' wine. Well, it's not just any old Reserva either! It's a 'Special Reserve' or an 'Especial Reserva' to be precise.

Lucky Tesco and lucky us. Very lucky. It will only set us back €6.99.

This story just keeps getting bigger and bigger - but no-one seems to notice!

How do they do it? Those Tesco boys. Don't they just Give us a Little Every Day and as we all know Every Little Helps. They really must know their stuff. Those Tesco Boys.

They certainly know how to fool us and they know how to make wine labels that stick to more than just the bottle.

Reserva is a wine term that in many instances means nothing whatsoever. At €6.99 this is clearly one of those instances. If Reserva means nothing, as in this case, then what the hell does Especial Reserva mean?

What can we expect next? House Special Especial Reserva.

Even the great Torres can't resist the term

A Reserve wine means something to me. It says that it 's a step up and a step away from the basic wine in the range. It has been reserved or chosen by the wine maker as a wine that we can judge him or her by. It's a wine that shows the region off to its best; it's a wine that shows the potential of the ageing process and how the grapes in question have responded. Above all it's a wine that its worth paying a bit extra for.

In the case of the Tesco wine - it's worth pointing out here that 'the Tesco' wine is simply a good example of this type of wine label and Firstpress is not impugning Tesco in any shape or form as being a culprit; this is a widespread practice throughout the wine trade - neither the word Reserva nor the word Especial mean anything whatsoever!

The world that is wine is a peculiar place. No other foodstuff would be allowed to get away with the degree of obfuscation that exists with wine labels.

To begin with there is no ingredient labelling. (Randal Gram at Bonny Doon has begun the process of voluntary disclosure.) There are very differing wine laws in existence throughout the world. If one guy is allowed to put something into the wine and another is not we should be made aware of the ingredient that has been added before we put it into our mouth!

There should be mandatory explanations of terms such as Classico and Superiore and Reserva when they have been put onto the label. If they mean something then be proud of it.

Retailers should be questioned. What does that mean? Why is it on the label? What do you mean it means nothing? Give them a hard time and they'll soon bring their grumbles up the supply chain. Yank their cord and they'll flush it.

This is a well fashioned web of deceipt that has gone on for so long now that the trade cannot see the problem.

Just think of the new toilet duck was a 'Reserva'. We'd all roll around laughing and then ask the supplier for an explanation.

Put Reserva on to a jam and we'd expect a difference of some sort over the non reserva.

Put it on to a wine and all we say is that we are getting very good value at €6.99 for a Reserva. Who's fooling who here?

A Bordeaux Reserve - Grand Vins or Wha!

Ryanair Giving Booze Away For Free?!

It's true. Ryanair has a BOGOFF on booze.

Buy One Get One Free promotions are frowned on big time in the Irish drinks trade.

Firstly they are not supposed to make money.

Ryanair? I don't think so.

Secondly, they promote irresponsible behaviour.

Ryanair? Ah, that's more like it!

Strange how noone notices the effects of a high alt Booze Bogoff

Firstpress made an official complaint to MEAS (Mature Enjoyment of Alcohol in Society) about how Ryanair would like to get us all boozed up. A promotion of this sort is in breach of MEAS guidelines. Most major players in the Irish drinks trade have signed up to these.

So, if you have a small night club in the back of beyonds and you decide to give a shot away with every entry ticket redeemed you will be pilloried both through the trade and then in the Press.

'Never Mind Up, I can't find Down....'

If you have a small one stop store in Ballybunion and decide to have a good old BOGOFF for the weekend. Think again. The resulting publicity might put you out of the bog for good and into some deep shite instead.

But Ryanair will fly on regardless. They don't come under the MEAS Code of Practice it seems. They told MEAS to get lost as they operate in international airspace! They claim that they don't sell alcohol in Ireland at all. Next time the drinks trolley comes around have a look out the window. If you can still see Wexford don't touch the stuff or you might find yourself taking part in the same conspiracy.

Ryanair does not only sell alcohol in international airspace. Give me a BOGOFF.


Firstpress was undaunted. He went on to the Advertising Standards Authority of Ireland. What a guy.


Strike Two.


It seems that even though dozens of Ryanair aircraft are parked in Ireland with adverts throughout them encouraging us all to BOGOFF on alcohol there is nothing the ASAI can do! Put the same thing onto a billboard at the side of the M50 and see what happens! Better still target St Stephens Green or anywhere near the Dept of Justice etc.
Amazing.


Brian Lenihan our intelligent Minister in charge of Justice and all things legal and illegal has decided for a number of reasons to investigate the misuse of alcohol in Irish society.


Strangely but an historical context wasn't part of the Government Alcohol Advisory Group that the Minister set up. Nor was Ryanair. I suppose the latter could be excused. You can't expect O'Leary's gang to stop trying to make a buck. Even if an alcohol fuelled BOGOFF is advertised beside the soft drinks in their inflight magazine.


MEAS published its second annual report recently. It was subtitled Encouraging Responsible Marketing. The Chairman, Dr Gordon Holmes mentions in his report that 'the pricing of alcohol presents its own problems. Many of the supermarkets and off licenses have surprisingly low prices.' Firstpress has been told by MEAS that the same Chairman is not allowed to note the same thing about airlines. WHY NOT?


In her foreward the Chief Executive of MEAS, Fionnuala Sheehan, for whom Firstpress has lot of time, says' the notable deficiency to date has been the absence of a holistic view and a sufficiently joined up approach to alcohol policy development and its implementation.' Well that's certainly true when Ryanair can do what it likes and how it likes on board its own aircraft.


I wonder what the reaction would if the adverts on the aircraft encouraged something like, 'Good Old Neo Nazism' or suggested 'Free Porn for All' or God Forbid supported one political party over another!! How about 'A bottle of Whiskey with every copy of Hustler' delivered to your mailbox. I expect both MEAS and the ASAI would find a voice and cause to raise concern. I expect everyone would!

Please keep the pole way clear during Takeoff...

The history of ambivalence continues. It seems that the same Gordon Holmes is chairing the Independent Government Alcohol Advisory Group as Chairs the MEAS Independent Complaints Commitee. In both cases he has been told who to look at and to look only in the present tense.

The past it seems has no responsibility. Just like Ryanair.

Two can do when toucan one at a time